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You know, we’re all a little excited about the new Batman flick. But let’s take a minute, step back and breathe. In. And out. And in. And…there.

Yes, this ad is horribly self-aware of how stupid and pointless the tie-in is. But that doesn’t keep it from being stupid and pointless. Gotham City = extra pepperoni? You’re not even trying. Why not just say, “Hey dummies, it’s round…just like the Batmobile tires! Buy it!”

Domino’s has enjoyed a nice revival recently with its “You Got 30 Minutes” campaign, with Crispin Porter + Bogusky somehow managing to get the brand over its litigiphobia to reclaim the only thing Domino’s ever had going for it. Which just makes an ad fail like this all the more painful.

Thanks to Kung Fu Rodeo.

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For The Love of God, No More Guy Cleavage

(Photo: American Apparel)

Head on over to Radar Online to read all about the threat to America that is The Men’s Deep V T-Shirt, paradoxically most prominently offered by American Apparel. Thanks to fashion-forward, coastal dwelling tools, the men’s t-shirt has devolved from one of nature’s most benificent and unadulterated garments — the broccoli of menswear, if you will — to a hair-baring, pec-peeking sign of the apocalypse. It’s truly awful, this thing. But it is fun to read other people hating it just as much as we do.

Incidentally, the male sternum quote is from Kempt, and it made us laugh. A lot.

And if you think the Deep V is bad, consider this abomination, also courtesy of American Apparel:

(Photo: American Apparel, i.e., Make the Bad Man Stop, Mommy)

What’s next? Male tube tops? Ooo! Tool Tops! We said it first!

UPDATE:  Brian Collins has graciously peered into fashion’s future to give us this privileged, photoshopped glimpse at the inevitable Tool Top.

Copywriting Intern Sam Pyle hasn’t been sleeping a lot lately. It’s not that we’re working him to death. Ok, it’s not entirely that we’re working him to death. It’s more that he’s been anxiously awaiting the big day when he and his wife find out whether they’re having a Boy Baby Pyle or a Girl Baby Pyle. Bets in the office yesterday tended to favor the latter:

Some even thought there was the chance of twins (the twins force runs strong in his family). An artist’s rendering made the possibility even more possible than we thought possible. (Possible!)

Then Sam emailed and let us know the good news. It’s a girl and everything is perfecto.

Congratulations, Pyles!

We proudly announce the promotion of Chris Rock to Associate Creative Director here at Marlin. He has since gone through the four documented stages of promotional acceptance. First, anger (for some reason). Second, shock. Third, glee and a general sense of wellbeing. Fourth, contemplative of the rapidly expanding future. Congratulations, Chris.

Marlin is pleased to announce three new faces in our halls. And rather than put our adjective-heavy spin on these talented, talented people, we’ve decided to let them tell you all about themselves.

Allison Cash — Group Account Director

“I like Led Zeppelin; Going to California is my favorite song. Wendell Berry is my favorite essayist. I love my husband and kids and think one day maybe I’ll do Pilates. Hendrick’s gin and tonic with extra lime is my favorite extracurricular drink. I have been in communications 15 years and stretching the truth for at least 9.”

Allison, for those of you paying attention, previously worked at our sister agency, deep. Which explains the “two and a half” reference (and here you thought we were just big Charlie Sheen fans). Now, Agatha!

Agatha Lesiew— Account Executive

“I grew up in Kenya (East Africa) and come from the tribe that always wins marathons. That gene must have skipped me! I came to the states 10 years ago to go to SMSU (then transferred to Drury, where I graduated from). I moved back to Springfield to join Marlin, having been in Kansas City for the past two years working on the print production side. I love to play tennis and I own/am owned by my little yorkie Rafiki (which means friend in Kiswahili).”

Jeff Hedrick — Account Service Intern

“College attended: Still attending Evangel University.(Senior advertising major, middle linebacker for football team, manager/designer of Excalibur yearbook.)

Years in the advertising business: 3 weeks?

I joined Marlin after traveling the world throughout the month of May. (Russia, Kyrgyzstan, New York, California, Michigan — 32,000 miles/12 flights)

I can’t wait until I am old and living in a log cabin in the mountains with my wife, where the highlight of the year will be hopping in our RV and taking a trip to Branson. I have a season pass to Silver Dollar City.”

Welcome Allison, Agatha and Jeff. We are incredibly happy to have you.

For absolutely no reason, here are two wholly different visions of McDonald’s through the mystical looking glass of The TV Commercial.

First, what somebody on YouTube claims (and we’re too lazy to verify) to be the first McDonald’s commercial. (Maybe it’s the first featuring Ronald McDonald?)

This thing had me crapping my pants in terror at about the 15-second mark. The scene pulls back from what I thought was the familiar safety of a tv commercial into a dark, disorienting space. And there’s a horribly misshapen silhouette watching what I was watching. (The world’s first meta-commercial?) This…thing…turns around and stands up and it’s huge. And you hear this goofy voice that is obviously a put-on goofy voice (which makes it all the more terrifying, the attempt and failure at innocent comedy) and it sounds kind of like what the middle-aged, slovenly son of Michael Keaton and Dick Van Dyke would sound like, and it says, “Here I am, kids!” AAAAAAAAHHH…AAAAAAHHH!

The rest is forgettable, even the magic tray of hamburgers and the skip-away/skip-toward ending that is, ok, pretty damn funny. None of it even comes close to the vertiginous horror of seconds 15 through 20.

Flash forward and around the world to 2006. The next two clips are a hip, high-fashion Japanese take on the urtext of nightmare clowns.

This one works pretty well. Here you have a sassy supermodel with anime hair, but she’s wearing one of the world’s most recognizable costumes (right behind stormtroopers (Nazi and Death Star) and Catholic schoolgirls), which makes the visual instantly recognizable and new. Actually pretty cool. This next one, not so much.

Maybe it’s the final pouty shot. Maybe it’s the three-quarter tilt to his belt/lower torso. Maybe it’s that Captain Perfect Jaw seems more toolnnoying than cool. Maybe I just need a pretty lady to sell me my hamburgers.

Thus concludes our tour from scary clown to toolville. Hope you enjoyed the ride.

We can’t tell you how happy we are at Marlin that someone has finally captured the essence of what it is to be a part of today’s fast-paced, no-nonsense, dog-eat-dog, hyphen-filled world of design. A world where up is down, down is left, and getting directions can be pretty tricky.

It’s a world where success isn’t about producing amazing work. It’s not even about being the best there is. It’s about doing all of that and going so far above and beyond your clients’ expectations that they give you their first-born child (plaques are okay, but people are really impressed when they catch a glimpse of a kid in your trophy case).

In all (some) seriousness though, check out the good folks at Digital Kitchen’s humorous take on the goings-on within a design studio.

Are we all this vain? Of course not. Are we this beautiful? Yes.

The East London Decapitator surfaced back in January with a barrage of breathless posts about how fantastic it was that someone was sticking it to The Man with a clever if somewhat bloody bit of culture-jamming on London’s street ads. Honestly, our first reaction was the same — we loved it. Somebody out there was turning insipid ad visuals against their advertisers and spinning all that fake glamour 180°. Brilliant.

Then we came across this interesting bit. Somebody noticed the decapitator was, shall we say, favoring the ladies. And by favoring, we mean chopping off their heads more than men. Noticeably more than men. A fact highlighted in one of the most recent targets, ads for Sex And The City:

So the question becomes: is it a modern example of violent, momma-never-breastfed-me misogynism? Or simply a result of advertising that itself favors women (even if men are present in the ads) to deliver the bulk o’ the attraction and appeal, which makes the women the logical target for somebody wanting to screw with said ads.

Or maybe the question becomes: why the hell are you overanalyzing what’s basically a clever and fun bit of graffiti pop art?

To which the answer is: I GOT NOWHERE ELSE TO GO.

Marlin production guru Don Leveque just returned from an epic fishing trip to Perrault Lake in Northwest Canada. Hundreds of fish were caught (some of which apparently are the size of European cars). Shore lunches were enjoyed daily. Life was good up there for Don. For the fish, not so much.

Welcome back!

The bandwidth here at Marlin is taking a massive hit as several of our nerdier nerds tune in to live streams of the Apple WWDC08 in San Francisco. As I write, I can hear my audio of Steve Jobs being echoed across the way by someone else’s audio of Steve Jobs, filling the halls of Marlin with a techwonk bastardization of Lou Gehrig.